Play-By-Play Commentary

Spread ’Em

I can't help but think of the incomparable Stephanie Zimbalist, Jr., who said: "Great art must induce great vomit." Matt hews closely to this timeless tenet by taking Jason's exploration of dizzyness and adding his own headache-inducing touch to craft a masterwork of nausea that is only matched by the breakfast burrito and whiskey sour I enjoyed to prepare for this competition.

I appreciate how Matt has stuck to Jason's rough-edged aesthetic and bold use of—OK, I can't look at this for one second longer. I'm going to hit the head.

[time passes]

OK I think I just puked up something I'm probably going to need later, but nevertheless, now that I look upon this with fresh eyes, I am enjoying the mesmerizing nature of the piece, coupled with the sensation that I am about to be molested by an officer of the law right there in the flashing lights of his black and white. And I don't care what Stephanie Zimbalist says, that is truly what great art is all about.

Play by play commentary for this match is provided, as it happens, by Joshua Allen.

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