Play-By-Play Commentary

To Whom It May Concern

My name is Dr. Emilio Loya, a pharmacologist originally from the Baja California region. I was recently contacted by the therapist of one Joshua Allen. She was in tears. She tells me that Mr. Allen arrived at her office, nude and ranting about black triangles following him through his "fecund valley." She immediately phoned me, knowing I was the only one who could help.

She was absolutely right.

I dug deep into my personal vault of super-experimental medication. I'm talking about Heaven Oreos, Pink Accidents, XR-0000, and the pill known only as "Fat Huey." I administered the Huey rectally to Mr. Allen and his wild thrashing and ululation finally came to a stop. His eyes, almost entirely black, gazed upon mine beatifically. He seemed lit from within by a kind of religious zeal. He clapped me on the back and said: "Let's party, amigo!"

The treatment was a resounding success.

My question: To whom do I send the bill? The cost of the Fat Huey is, shall we say, prohibitive.

Yours, etc.

E. L.

Play by play commentary for this match is provided, as it happens, by Joshua Allen.

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