I'm in the basement working on my scale model of Stockholm when my wife calls down to me. "We need to talk," she says. "I just heard from Dr. Valborgsmassoafton." I sigh and say: "It's pronounced Valborgsmassoafton."
"He says you're dreaming about being Pippi Longstocking and having unnatural relations with a monkey and with ABBA and with Marie Fredriksson from Roxette and with Ulf Ekberg from Ace of Base."
"Well I'll just have to have a word with him about doctor-patient confidentiality. Thank you for informing me."
"And while you're doing that, why don't you go ahead and buy a one-way ticket to Sweden since you love it there so much."
"This is an outrage! I've never even been to Sweden!"
"Oh no? Well when I was doing your laundry — as I always do — I found these in the side pockets of your Walmart cargo shorts."
"What? Meatballs. You can get them at any roadside meatball stand in the county."
"Authentic Swedish meatballs? Really?"
"I don't have to take these accusations. I'm outta here."
"Where are you going? Into the arms of Jakob and Joakim?"
"THEY'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO TRULY UNDERSTAND ME!"
Play by play commentary for this match is provided, as it happens, by Joshua Allen.
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Congratulations to Mig Reyes, Layer Tennis Season 3 Champion.
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